The day goes by, but it is flat, without joy. The void yawns in my heart, another death; though smaller, painful.
By now we would have spoken at least once, and maybe an email in between--sharing little things, our plans for the day, the weather, some idea one of us was working on; but not today. How great a distance between the sun and laughter of the Canyon and the gloom that shrouds my soul today!
But it can't be otherwise. How much more clear does it have to be, that her love is as between friends? That is not what I want, though, at least not now. Having experienced more, to go backward and settle for less--how? And so I don't call, don't write, and hope she understands. I must move on; there are so many things to do to rebuild a life, you know?
If her heart changes....
If not....
A future calls, as I slowly get my heart back
from where I had left it
on her doorstep,
unwanted,
the gift unaccepted--not really
a gift after all, with its purpose unfulfilled.
And tomorrow is another day.
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